Complicated
by justwanttologin
Summary: Bella and mom are in a car accident and she wakes up thinking it's 3 years earlier. Now she's trying to figure out the past she remembers and the past she forgot and figure out her future.
1. Chapter 1

I feel awake but then not awake and I'm having these dreams that don't make sense even as I dream

them. Even not all the way awake I know I'm not home but I don't know where I am. I try to open my eyes

but they are so heavy. I whimper at the effort and then I hear my name. That voice… I know that voice.

I slowly open my eyes… "Jake?"

"Oh Bells I'm so glad you're awake. Let me go get a nurse." He starts to get up.

"Jake no! What do you mean nurse? Why am I here? Where are I? Where are my mom and dad?"

"What do you mean… I really need to get the nurse, I'll be right back honey. Sam should be back soon

too… he's been sitting here but he's not sure if you'll want to see him." He walks out before I can ask

him who Sam is.

The nurse comes in and asks how I'm feeling and tells me she's going to check my vitals and then she'll

page the doctor. She walks out telling my friend will be right back in, she asked him to stay outside for a

minute.

Jake comes back in and he looks like he's been crying.

"Jake what is going on? Where are my parents and who is Sam?"

"Bells you need to wait for the doctor to explain everything but I will be right here with you."

I want to argue but the doctor comes in before I can.

"Bella, good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" The doctor asks me and I tell him annoyed. I want

to see my parents. "Bella this is going to seem random but I need you to tell me what year it is."

I'm even more annoyed as I tell him it's 2010. I don't miss the look on both his and Jake's face but then

some man I don't know walks in.

"Sam now isn't a good time." I hear Jake tell him even though he's trying to be quiet. Jake has never been

able to be quiet though. Sam looks hurt but walks out.

"Who is that man?" I ask Jake and he sighs and looks at the doctor who shakes his head yes.

"He's your ex-boyfriend Bells. You loved him, were talking about marrying him…" He stops and looks at

the doctor and he shakes his head yes again. "… then your dad was killed and you and your mom took

off. You meet him three years ago, in 2011. Your dad died two years ago. You haven't been back here since

but you and your mom were in a car crash and your mom had my dad listed in her phone as her ICE

contact and now here you are. I'm so sorry honey."

No… none of this makes any sense. That would make it 2014. But it's 2010 and I'm going to graduate

soon and go to college with Mike.

"Where is Mike?" I ask him and he gets that look again."I don't know honey, probably at home with his little girl. You are not with Mike anymore. I don't know

where you live or anything about you. It's been a year since I've heard from you."

"Where is my mom?" I know as soon as I ask she's dead. Jake has always been easy to read. I start crying

and Jake sits next to me gently rubbing his fingers through my hair.

"Sam really wants to come in and see you. I know you don't remember him and you haven't been with

him in a year but he loves you and it's killing him to not be right here. Can he just come in and see that you

are fine?"

"I'm not fine!" I snap at him. My parents are dead, my boyfriend isn't my boyfriend and he has a kid and

this man I don't know is desperate to see me.

"What happened with my dad?" I ask him and he tells it was a home invasion, he had just come home

from work and the guy had the gun pointed at me. My dad moved to get his gun but the guy shot him.

Then he got scared and ran but they got him. Apparently my mom and I took off a week later.

Then I ask him about Mike and he says I broke up with Mike for Sam. I ask to see Mike and he says fine he

will go call him. I tell him to send Sam in before he goes.

"Oh Bella I was so worried about you. I mean I've worried about you for the last year but then they said

they were moving you here and you were unconscious and I'm so sorry if I'm overwhelming you. But

you're staying now right?" Sam is going on and on and I think Jake didn't mention I have no idea who he is.

"Sam I'm really sorry but I don't know who you are. I feel like I'm still dating Mike, I'm in love with Mike

and then I find out both my parents are dead and Mike has a kid. I really just wanted to tell you I'm sorry

but there is no reason for you to wait here for me. I don't know who you are."

"I want to be here for you though, you loved me once and I never stopped loving you. I'll wait for you."

"I need to deal with the death of my parents and getting over Mike. I don't have the energy to worry

about you too. So please just go." He looks like I just broke him but he says good bye and walks out.

Jake walks back in and tells me Mike will be here in about an hour, he just has to drop his daughter off

with her mom first.

_A/N I suck at math and timelines so if that ever seems off let me know and I will fix. _


	2. Chapter 2

Jake sits with me while I wait for Mike after reminding me one more time that I am not with Mike anymore and telling me that Sam just wants to help. At that I remind him that I wasn't with Sam anymore either and I have no idea who he is.

"I thought you liked Mike." I tell Jake. He's always been kind of over protective but they got along after Jake got to know him. We've been together since freshman year, I just can't see myself not with him.

"I do Bells, we're actually still friends, and you were still friends with him when you left. There were no bad feelings between you two."

I'm thinking about what he's saying when Mike walks in and says hi. I smile at him and Jake tells Mike he is going to get something to eat and go check on Sam. At Sam's name I frown. I feel terrible that he is so upset about me being here but like I told him, I don't have the energy to worry about him.

"Hi Mike, I've missed you." I tell him and he looks confused.

"You haven't smiled at me like that since high school." He tells me with a small, sad smile.

"I feel like I'm still in high school."

"Yeah Jake told me about it. I am so sorry Bella, about this and about your parents. I want you to know if you need anything let me know and I will be there for you."

"What happened to us?"

"Sam happened to us."

I ask him for the details so he tells me that Jake started dating this girl named Emily and the 4 of us spent a lot of time together. Sam is Emily's cousin and he moved down here for a job and was staying with Emily and her parents until he could find his own place. He's only a couple years older than us but he had a crappy childhood making him very independent. He started hanging out with the 4 of us and slowly even from the distance I kept from him we managed to develop feelings for each other. We stopped hanging out with the 3 of them, my decision, but Mike could tell how much I missed Sam. He said I fought it hard because I didn't stop loving him but what I felt for Sam was stronger and undeniable. He ended up breaking up with me and I still fought it. I've always been a bit stubborn, it comes from both parents. Finally Jake and Emily tricked me into having dinner with him and it all kind of fell into place from there.

According to Mike we were perfect together. Sam was the calm and reasonable to my impulsive and stubborn and once I gave in we were inseparable. Mike and I talked it out and we stayed friends even still planning on going to college together. Then his dad got sick and he ended up not going to help his mom take care of him and the store they own. I chose to stay here with Sam and I got a job at the local daycare which I apparently loved.

I'm pretty sure I don't love working with kids.

After my dad died my mom and I had the funeral then packed up our stuff and left. She later sold the house to a nice couple and their kids.

Obviously Mike couldn't tell me what happened after that since my mom and I just disappeared. He did tell me that Sam was miserable and looked everywhere for me and only recently gave up.

"Why did he bother?" I ask Mike. I wouldn't go to that much trouble for someone who left me.

"Because you mean everything to him Bella. And he understood what you were going through. Of course we all assumed you would call or come back at first. Jake and I stopped thinking that after a while but Sam didn't want to give up hope. He knows you and how stubborn you are and he figured that you thought you couldn't just come back into his life after all this time. You could've. You still can, I doubt he even cares that you don't remember him."

"I don't want Sam in my life; I want you in my life."

"I will be in your life, you're my friend."

"Are you with anyone, the mother of your daughter?" I ask him ignoring the friend thing. If he's single there is hope.

"No, we were never really together. We went to the same bars and clubs a lot and ended up going home together a lot but then she got pregnant. We tried being together but she didn't want to stop partying and I didn't want my little girl with the teenager next door all the time so we split. Now she parties and I watch Disney Princess movies. I wouldn't trade for anything though. I do hope Jessica grows up eventually though."

"Jessica who?" I ask suspiciously but thinking no way at the same time.

"Yeah it's her."

"Eww Mike, standards. I thought you had them." Jessica Stanley was my high school enemy. She made it her mission to be a bitch to me because I had what she wanted most… Mike. Her mission failed miserably though because from the time I was a tiny little bundle of pink my parents taught me that no one can hurt me unless I let them. It fueled her even more that I just blew off her insults and flirtations with Mike and the accidently on purpose tray she spilt on me in the cafeteria. I laughed at her, then put Mike's jacket on over it until I could borrow a clean shirt from my way too prepared friend Angela in the next class.

Jessica toilet papered my house, keyed my car (which her daddy had to pay for because, duh, the school had a security camera) and tried everything else she could think of to destroy me. Every time I laughed it off and it made her more and more angry. The final straw was prom night where she was so sure she was prom queen. But it ended up being me which I would have been mortified at but the pleasure of destroying Jessica outweighed it. That's the night she tried to attack me and I punched and broke her nose. It was self-defense of course and she gave up on me. She never did give up on Mike though, that apparently paid off.

"I'm disappointed in you." I tell him. He laughs and says he doesn't blame me, but he got Leighton out of it so he can't be sorry.

"So where are you going to be staying?" He asks me and I tell him I haven't thought about it but probably with Jake or his dad until I can get myself together. "Sam lives with Jake you know? Jake and Emily rented a house that they could afford until Emily lost her job but they didn't want to lose it and Sam was in between leases so yeah. But Billy's might work or if you want you could stay with me. It's just me Leighton and we have an extra room. So whatever works?" He offers and I feel that hope flicker in me again.

"She'll be coming home with me." A man demands from the door with Jake standing behind him with apologetic eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

As this man bursts through the door Mike asks me if I know him. When I shake my head no the man glares at Jake telling him he tried to tell him.

"You have to remember me Bella." He pleads sitting on the bed next to me and taking my hand. I jerk it away from him.

"Maybe you should give her some space." Mike suggests, so he glares at him getting up from my bed.

"Who are you are?" I ask once he's not so close and Jake comes to sit next to me causing more glaring.

"You seriously don't know me?" He asks in disbelief.

"Seriously."

"I'm Emmett, your fiancé."

At that everyone looks at him in shock. I'm glad Sam left, or at least he's not here in the room.

"I'm very sorry about Renee." He tells me and I start crying. In all of the confusion of trying to figure everything out I almost forgot about that. I tell him my dad is dead too and he looks at me funny and tells me he knows.

"Well I just found out!" I scream at him and Mike who is sitting in a chair by my bed takes my hand and starts rubbing circles on it like he always does to comfort me. Or used to I guess. My head hurts.

"They called Phil to tell him and he called me. We came as soon as we could. I'm sorry it took so long. Phil is parking the car and he'll be up. As soon as you're released we can go home and make arrangements for your mom." I don't even want to know who Phil is.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't know you. Do you not understand that?" I ask him.

"I do understand baby, but we have a life at home. One that as soon as you get back to you can remember. You have a job and we have a house and a wedding planned."

"Don't call me baby, and I'm not going anywhere with you and neither is my mom. She will be buried here with my dad and I will be staying here. At least until I get my memories back. So until then you should probably go back to this life you say we have."

"Where has she been all this time?" Jake asked him.

He tells us we live in Seattle which is just a couple of hours from here. We've been there since we left Forks, living in a small apartment until my mom sold the house and then bought one there. I met Emmett about a year and a half ago and now we have a wedding date set for 6 months from now. I am half way through college for a teaching degree. Apparently we're sticking with the whole I love kids thing.

The doctor comes in and says he needs to speak to me, asking everyone to leave but at the look on my face says I can have one person stay with me. Jake offers and I want to protest, I want Mike to stay but I figure maybe he doesn't want to be here.

After Mike and Emmett leave the doctor explains that my injuries are not as bad as they could have been and other than the memory loss and a few bruises and gashes I'm fine and I can be released after they monitor me for a few more days. He tells me that with memory loss there is no way to know what is going to happen, sometimes the memories come back within days, sometimes years, and sometimes never so it's best to try to put my life together as if they will never come back. Finally he asks who will be making arrangements for my mom. I tell him it will be me even though I have no idea what to do. He leaves and Mike comes back in telling me he has to go but to call him if I need anything and that Jake has his number.

Emmett comes in after Mike with someone I assume is Phil and as much as I hate to admit it right now I need him. I don't know where I live or if I have any money or anything.

"Hey honey, how are you feeling?" Phil asks. Then Emmett explains that he is my step dad.

"She married you? My dad has only been dead for a couple of years. She loved him, how could she do that to him?" I ask him, hurt.

"It wasn't that simple and I never tried to replace your dad. Your mom still loved him very much, she felt guilty for a long time about me. It was actually you that convinced her it was OK. Emmett was telling me you don't want to come home with us and I think I have him convinced that it's probably the right choice for now. You should be with people you know especially just finding out you lost both you mom and your dad. But… he's not leaving. He has money and a job he can do anywhere so he plans on renting an apartment here. He'll rent you your own if you want. I will take care of the arrangements for you mom and I think she would want to be buried here with your dad. I would like to stay a part of your life but I understand if you don't want me to. You have a lot to deal with."

He gives Jake his number as he leaves. I ask Jake to leave too. It's been a crazy day and I really need some sleep. He kisses my head and tells me he'll see me in the morning. I try to sleep but I can't. So I really start thinking about everything. How I'm not who I feel like I am and how all of the sudden I have no parents. I feel 18 but I'm 23. And I apparently go through men like chocolate.

I ask the nurse for something to help me sleep and I finally get some peace.

I wake up the next morning confused until the events of yesterday come rushing back.

Jake comes back bringing me breakfast and we talk about where I want to go after I leave here tomorrow according to the doctor. I tell him I would rather stay with Billy than him just because I don't want to have to be around Sam.

"That's fine Bells or Mike said you can stay with him. I talked to this Emmett guy and he's renting an apartment here but I don't know about him. There is just something about him. I don't like him and I don't like the idea of you staying alone." I tell him I don't want to be alone either, but I think staying with Mike might be weird.

"You and Mike were actually pretty close friends, but my dad already said you could stay there, he has an extra room. Emily and I are going to go shopping to get you some clothes and basic stuff. Then when you're up too it we can get you whatever you want and need plus Phil offered to bring your stuff from your house there if you want it."

"I want to go there. Just once to see it, to see where me and my mom spent the last years of our lives. I wonder why she had your dad as her ICE instead of her husband. That's weird, isn't it?" He says not really, my mom never was into the latest thing so it was probably from when we lived here. I know she didn't have my dad listed because he worked so much and was hard to reach at work. She figured Billy would be there quicker and could handle getting ahold of my dad.

He agrees to visit my house with me as soon as I feel up to it.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella's POV

I'm signing my discharge papers and waiting for Jake to come pick me up. He was here this morning but his girlfriend, Emily, who I am apparently good friends with even though we used to fight like crazy, according to Jake, is pregnant and she was throwing up and they were out of the tea she needs. It was a huge emergency from the way Jake talked about it.

I finish signing the last paper, and the nurse tells me she will go make copies and be right back. As soon as she walks out Sam walks in.

"Where is Jake?" I ask him probably much ruder than he deserved. Jake has expressed his concern about Emmett every chance he can over the last few days especially after he figured out he's 31, which in his mind is way too old for me. It is way too old for me, but still the constant Emmett is bad and Sam is everything good in the whole world gets annoying. I'm not interested in either one of them. I love Mike. But what I really need is to figure out how I am going to live my life. I'm not in high school anymore, but it's not like I can go back to the college I was going to. Not that I want to go back to Seattle anyways. So for now I am going to focus on figuring my life out after burying my mom. I still cannot believe my mom and my dad are both dead. And that my mom was married.

"He got called in to work. He called Mike but Leighton had a dentist appointment. I'm sorry, I know you want me to stay out of your way, but there wasn't anyone else Jake could think of. Billy doesn't drive anymore, but I guess you probably remember that. I'll take you straight there and then leave OK? Then Jake and probably Mike will be by to check on you."

"Yeah I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just… this is all so hard. My parents are dead, I'm engaged, with a stepdad I don't know, the man I love is telling me that I am everything to you, and once upon a time you were everything to me too. I just want to wake up and really be in high school. Aggh. Mike has a kid! Yeah just please take me home." I tell him trying not to cry.

He carries my bag of stuff Jake brought for me as I follow him to his car. The short drive is awkward and I'm so relieved when I see Billy's house, Jake's old house. I spent so much time here as a kid and even as a teenager. Jake has been my best friend since we were little kids. I think our parents always thought we would end up together, but it was never like that between us. There was never any jealously when we started dating other people, but if we didn't get along with the other person then it usually didn't work out. Jake didn't like Mike at first, but I refused to give him up without Jake giving him a chance and they eventually were tolerable to each other. The longer I forced them to hang out the more they got over whatever the issue was and became friends.

I love Mike so much. I cannot imagine breaking up with him for someone else.

"Did I really try to fight it?" I ask thought to myself, but I guess I said it out loud because Sam asks fight what? "Being with you. I love him so much, maybe I was just too impulsive. You're pretty hot, so maybe you were just the shiny new toy. I was 18."

I feel bad when I see the look on his face.

"I'm sorry Sam. I must be coming off like a complete bitch."

"Don't worry about it. I know this is hard for you. And yes, you did fight it. You denied the attraction as long as you could, and then when you couldn't do that anymore you stopped coming around me. Then Mike broke up with you and you took it hard. You still loved him, you never really stopped loving him. You two are still really good friends, well you were before you left. He still loves you too."

"I thought you still loved me?" I ask him confused.

"I do, so much. I thought I would never see you again. I wondered if you were even still alive some days."

"Then why are you telling me Mike still loves me? You know I love him. Shouldn't you be telling me he's a terrible person who hates me?" I ask him.

"I would never lie to you Bella. I know you don't remember me, and apparently you moved on even when you did remember me. If you're going to stay here we're going to see each other, and I don't want to make things harder for you than they already are. Mike is a good person."

"You seem like a good person too Sam. I'm sorry I don't remember you. I have a feeling Emmett isn't going to be as understanding as you."

"Between Jake and Mike, Emmett won't be able to get anywhere near you if you don't want him too. Call me if you need anything OK?" He tells me. I thank him and get out of the car.

I use the key that has been on my key ring since high school, though now it is mixed in with keys I don't recognize.

Billy comes in to the living room and hugs. I burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry about all this honey. We're here for you though, and you can stay here as long as you want to." He tells me soothingly.

"I miss them so much." I tell him and he knows who I mean.

"Me too honey. I've missed you too. We all worried about you all the time. With your dad, we knew what happened, but not knowing with you and your mom was so much harder. I'm so sorry about your mom honey. Do you need me to make arrangements for the funeral?"

I tell him about Emmett and Phil, and then tell him I need to lie down for a while. He tells me I can stay in Jake's old room so I take my stuff, close the door and cry myself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella's POV

I've been home for two days, my mom's funeral is tomorrow. Jake took me to visit my dad's grave, and he even asked the nice couple that bought my house if I could look around.

The girl, Angela, was actually in my graduating class, and although we weren't really friends we ended up talking for a while, making plans to have lunch in a couple of weeks.

Other than that I've been just trying to stay busy by cleaning up Billy's house and baking. Me and my mom used to bake all the time. My dad would come home and complain about the mess we had made, but it was never serious. I had such a good childhood, such good parents.

The doorbell rings and I tell Billy I will get it expecting Jake or Mike, they seem to come check on me each a couple of times a day.

But it's not Jake or Mike.

"Hey Emmett." I tell him quietly. I'm really not sure how to act around him. He's so old and we're supposed to be getting married.

"Hey Bella. I'm sorry for just showing up, but I figured if I called you wouldn't have let me come. I won't stay, I just wanted to tell you I'm staying at a hotel in Port Angeles. I wanted to bring you your car and your babies." I stare at him and he tells me to follow him to the car.

I look into the open window and there are 2 little pugs curled up on the seat. As much as I don't want Emmett here they are adorable and I ask him if I can pet them.

"They're yours, of course you can pet them. The little one is Emma and the fat one is Hook." I open the door and the little one opens her eyes, jumps at me stepping on the other one who gets super excited too. "They know me?" I ask him even though I know the answer.

"Oh course they do baby. You found Emma abandoned in a park and brought her home. I told you no at first, dogs are so messy, yippy and such a hassle but you looked at me with that pouty look and I gave in. Within a week you were complaining that she was lonely and she needed a friend for when we were gone during the day and you dragged me to the shelter and there we found Hook."

"Why did I name him after a pirate? I don't even like Peter Pan."

"You named him from the show Once Upon A Time. Emma too. It's such a girl show, but you make me watch with you every Sunday. Now with Hook and Emma curled up with us. We're happy Bella. It took you a while to let me in because of you just leaving Sam and not getting to explain or tell him good bye or anything, but we're happy."

Jake pulls up and Emmett gives me this sad look like please don't make me go.

"Hey Bells, Emmett." He says looking at me to make sure I'm OK.

"Look at the puppies Jake." I tell him holding out Emma to him. He chuckles at my excitement and takes her from me so I pick up Hook. "That's Emma and this is Hook.

Jake rolls his eyes, "Her too huh? Emily loves that show." Emmett laughs and says yep, I never miss it.

I feel left out not knowing anything about my supposedly favorite show.

"We can watch it Bells, I have Hulu. We can make a whole night of it. I'm sure Emily wouldn't mind rewatching it."

"Um yeah sounds good. You should probably take him back. This isn't my life anymore. I don't know you, I can't love you. I'm not even the same person you know I don't think." I tell him trying to hand Hook back.

"They are your puppies. I love them, but they are your babies. The car is yours too and don't try to argue with me about it. It's yours, paid for and in your name. I will take them back if you can't keep them here, but they are yours and Emma hasn't been this happy since you left."

Jake tells me Billy won't mind me keeping them, and that the car would be good for me to have.

"Well OK then thanks." I tell him awkwardly knowing that I have kissed him, most likely had sex with him, but I don't really know him at all.

"Why don't you come in Emmett?" Jake asks him and I look at him in shock. So does Emmett. "Look, I don't really like you and you're way too old for her, but I can tell you love her and I know how hard it is to love her and want to be with her and not be able too. She's in love with Mike, Sam is always around… I guess you deserve your chance too."

Emmett looks at me and I shrug my shoulders holding Hook closer to me. Jake and Emmett start talking about the car, apparently it's some expensive car that Jake can't wait to drive.

Jake introduces him to Billy while I ignore them and focus on the puppies running around getting to know the house.

"She hasn't looked that happy since she woke up." Billy tells Jake probably thinking I can't hear him. I don't care though.

"She loves them. She loves me. I know you think she's too young for me, I did too at first. She worked at a coffee shop in Seattle. A lot of the other girls where so flirty and annoying whenever I walked in. They knew me, I went in a lot. But Bella never flirted, she would smile, ask how I was and we would talk but it was real. She's so real. She talked about you all the time, all of you. Sam, Mike and Emily. She would start talking about Emily then get so mad about an argument they had forever ago. But she loves her, loved her. I don't know anymore. She didn't act like the other girls, I didn't know she was so young until our first date. I was hesitant about dating her at first because I knew she still really loved Sam, but she was determined to not come back here. She said everywhere she looked she saw her dad, the nightmare of being held at gunpoint, that Sam wouldn't understand and he wouldn't want to move because Emily was his only real family. The way she talked about him she's probably wrong but she's stubborn." Jake snorts and says some things never change.

I feel like I should be bothered that they are talking about me like I'm not standing on the other side of a half wall, but I just learned a lot. Answers to questions I wasn't even sure to ask. It's so weird that he knows things about my life here that I don't know when he's from a different life.

I walk into the other room and ask the 3 of them if they want lunch. I'm not really hungry, but it's how I stay busy. I wonder if I overfeed Hook, if that's why he's fat.

"Let's go out. We can go anywhere you want. I don't know what there is here." Emmett offers and Jake laughs and tells him there is nothing here, but the diner and I hate the diner.

That I remember. The food is gross and the waitresses are always the popular bitchy girls from high school.

"We can go to the city." He's so hopeful, but I'm not ready for that.

"I'll just make something here. I can make chicken salad." I walk out before he can respond. I hear Jake telling him it's going to take time and that might not even help.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella's POV

Jake and Emmett talk while I make chicken salad for lunch and make plates for everyone.

"This is amazing Bella," Jake tells me and I smile, thanking him.

"Um, Emmett?" I ask nervously and he looks up at me, "I would like to go back to our house just once, to see it. If you want to come I guess that's OK but if you don't want to if you could just give Jake the address…"

"I'll come," He responds so fast it actually shocks me a bit then Jake adds that he will be coming too. Here Emmett is OK I guess but Jake obviously does not trust him completely.

Emmett tells us anytime is fine with him so we decide to go a couple of days after my mom's funeral.

Jake's phone rings and he walks out of the room to answer it, but I can hear him telling the other person no, he can't. He's sorry but Emily has been moody so he doesn't think it's a good idea. Then returns looking upset.

"Who was that?" I question.

"Mike, he had 2 people call in tonight, so the store is way understaffed. He was asking if I could keep Leighton so he could work but I really can't. Emily is so moody lately, anything can set her off. She's probably already going to be pissed I stopped by to see you, since you haven't been by to see her yet. So… bringing home a 2 year would not be a good idea."

"Maybe I can keep her," I offer without thinking. Jake looks at me funny, then asks if I'm serious, "Yeah, sure I mean if he needs someone. I'm apparently great with kids, even if I don't remember it. I mean that is if he's OK with it, if he's not I understand."

Jake calls Mike back with my offer, then tells me he'll be by in a couple of hours, a bit early so he can introduce Leighton to me, and give her the chance to get to know me.

"So I guess I should go. Um, I will be at the funeral. Do you want me to pick you up Bella?" Emmett asks me.

"No I will be going with Jake and Billy, but thank you. Oh, and thank you for the car, and the puppies. If you ever want to stop by to see them, please feel free."

"I will. Please let me know if you need anything before we go back to the house. Anything… I have money Bella. Not trying to sound like a snob or anything, because my money never impressed you so I doubt it will now. You're so different Bella, so much freer or something. I know when we meet you were pretty broken over losing your dad and Sam. You eventually were happy with me, but you always held something back. You don't hold back, here with Jake. Spending this afternoon with you has made me see that maybe you're not meant to be in the life we had. I love you so much but I want you to be happy and free like you are here, like you are with him."

"It's not like I'm with Jake at all. I was never with Jake. He's more like my brother or something. I'm devastated over my losing my parents but I know I'm going to be OK. I know I have people who care about me, who are going to help me through it. I really am so sorry about this Emmett, you seem like a really nice guy," I walk him to the door. He hugs me goodbye and tells me I have nothing to be sorry for.

After he leaves Jake tells me to go sit down and relax while he cleans up. Then he joins me on the couch, turning the TV on. He pulls me into his arms while we watch some lame but funny movie. I guess I can see what Emmett meant about me being free with Jake. We grew up together, and things are just simple with us.

"Jake? What should I do?" He looks down at me, and I can tell he's thinking about pretending he doesn't know what I'm talking about, but I know he does, and he knows that I know he does.

"I really don't know Bells. You were so good with Sam, but then you were good with Mike before Sam. I know you still love Mike, and that you might never love Sam again. It's what happens in life that makes us who we are, and a lot of who we are is why we're drawn to certain people. You fell in love with Sam without realizing it, and that obviously isn't going to happen again. Now you're technically engaged. Emmett seems nice I guess, just really not your type, but maybe that's what you needed after what happened to your dad. Maybe you should try not to think about it? Just live your life and see how it all plays out."

"I love Mike."

"And he loves you. Just not the way he did when you were 18 and in high school."

"You're no help at all," I tell him. He laughs, saying he's sorry.

A little while later Mike and Leighton show up, and Leighton bounces into Jake's arms. It's weird that they are such good friends. I mean that were friends before but you would have thought that would have ended when Mike broke up with me over Sam.

"Hey Bella, this is Leighton," Mike introduces his daughter, taking her from Jake, "Leighton this is Bella, you're going to stay with her for a little while tonight so I can go to work."

She smiles and waves but buries her head in Mike's shoulder.

"Hi Leighton. Do you want to see my new puppies?" I suggest, because I don't really know what else to say. At puppies she looks up nodding her head. Mike puts her down so she can follow me to the backyard where Emma and Hook just went out a few minutes ago. Mike and Jake follow us out.

As soon as we are out the door Leighton squeals and plops down on the ground giggling as the puppies climb and lick her all over. I sit with her and we bond over puppy love.

Mike must have looked at Jake questioningly because all I hear Jake say is Emmett.

"You're a natural with kids, just like we told you Bella," Mike reminds me, sounding relieved. "She's a pretty good kid and she loves to be outside. She will need dinner in about an hour. Which I totally forgot to bring but I can give you money to take her somewhere or order in."

"Does she eat chicken salad? There are leftovers from lunch. If not there is peanut butter and jelly, and stuff like that," I offer.

"Oh is it chicken salad like your mom used to make?" He asks. Jake laughs, says yep and asks him if he wants any. Mike agrees excitedly, and I follow them back in with Leighton and the puppies in tow.

"She'll eat pretty much anything, I just didn't mean to make you have to feed her," Mike says, but I tell him not to worry about it.

"So Emmett was here. How did that go?" He asks cautiously, but curious too.

"I don't know. I mean he's very nice, but I don't know him. I think he's hoping I'm just going to fall back in love with him, but I don't see that happening. Then he gives me a car saying it's mine so I can't argue, as well as the puppies. He seems like an amazing person, but there just aren't any feelings there, you know?"

"That car is yours, like to keep?" Mike asks in shock, then him and Jake start talking about the car. I'm glad the topic is off me.

Mike gets ready to leave, telling Leighton good bye. Then turns to me, saying that he's going to have to close so it might be as late at 11, but he will finish up as soon as possible. I tell him not to worry about it, she can sleep in my bed until he gets here. I have a feeling we're going to have fun. It will be nice to hang out with someone who doesn't understand everything I am going through.

"Thank you so much for this Bella. You're the best," He tells me, heading out the door. Soon after Jake leaves, so it's just me and Leighton.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask her.

"Take puppies outside."

We end up taking them for a walk, then coming home and having sandwiches and cookies with milk. Then we color and play with the puppies some more.

I think I like her. Maybe I really do like kids.


	7. Chapter 7

Bella's POV

The day before my mom's funeral Phil came to see me at Billy's house, to go over final arrangements with me. He also told me that he hired a catering company for the after thing where everyone is supposed to get together to eat, cry and all that crap though usually people bring food to the family. Jake tells me that my mom and I skipped that part with my dad. I'm thinking I'm going to skip it tomorrow too. That sounds awful. I ask Phil where this is supposed to happen but he tells me he hasn't given them a place yet since he wanted to check with me first.

"Can you just cancel it Phil? I know Emmett's family and your family is coming. I just don't want to have to deal with a bunch of people I don't even know. I appreciate that you're dealing with the planning and all but I just can't do it. I already agreed to have lunch with Emmett, his parents and sister. He claims they all just want to make sure I am really OK and they don't want to ambush me at the funeral. I don't know why they even have to be at the funeral. They aren't family."

"If that's what you really want then of course, I will just cancel it. And they are family Bella. Esme, Emmett's mother, and Renee were close friends, and you are close friends with Alice, his sister."

"Was." I correct him. I cannot be close friends with someone I don't remember. "I know Emmett is staying here until he gets tired of waiting for me but you're going home right?"

"Yes, the day after tomorrow. You have my number so you make sure you call me if you need anything. I know Emmett gave you the debit card to your bank account so you should be fine money wise."

Emmett did give me the debit card as well as the account info for online banking. I put it in a drawer pretending it didn't exist, until I mentioned it to Jake, and he went crazy not knowing so I looked online. The account is in my name only, and has $7,000 in it. I called Emmett telling him I couldn't keep all this. I worked at a coffee shop, there is no way I saved that much money.

He told me that since we lived together I quit focusing on school so he transferred money into my account so I didn't have to ask him for money; that it is my money but he will stop the transfers if I really want him to. I told him to yes, please stop the transfers and bugged him at least 5 more times if he was sure about the money.

I still haven't spent any of it. I've been using the cash I found in my purse, which was an insane amount to be carrying in a purse to buy groceries which Billy insists I don't need to buy plus anything else I need.

After Phil leaves I tell Billy I am going to take Hook and Emma for a walk. I need some sun, fresh air, and hopefully some peace and quiet.

I take them to the park and sit under my favorite tree from when I was a little kid. Wrapping their leashes around the base of the tree I sit back and close my eyes just listening to the birds and leaves with Emma curled up in my lap.

"Bella?" As soon as I hear her voice I cringe but I quickly remember I'm not in high school anymore. Also I'm doing way better in life than her even I don't remember it. She works at a bar, that's not hard to top.

"Hey Jessica." I greet her with all the fake cheer I can gather.

"Wow. I never thought I would see you again and then Mike was all like hey Bella is back and I was like oh yay? I'm sure Sam is so happy because seriously he's always at the bar all depressed. The girls are all over him because he is hot. But he totally blows them off. Then Mike was all like oh well he would be except she doesn't have a clue who he is and then he filled me in on all that mess. So yeah… are you going to go after him? Because like we have a daughter together and we're practically married so yeah, I wouldn't really bother."

Laughing without meaning to I tell her I'm not going after anyone.

"Well you should totally be with Sam. I mean the man has been a mess since you left and like I said he's hot. So yeah good seeing you." She tells me then keeps running. Good seeing you… right.

"I hate the mess I'm in Emma. I've never liked hurting people but no matter what I do I'm going to hurt someone and I've already hurt Sam. I don't remember it but I still hate it. The funny thing is the only person I really want to be with is probably the one that wouldn't be hurt if I don't end up with him. Now I'm talking to a dog. I'm sure if you could talk you will tell me you want to go home huh? You probably miss Emmett. I just wish I could get my memory back then I could be over Mike, I could give Sam the closure he deserves, and I could go back to my life with Emmett I guess. Or maybe I would remember how much I loved Sam and want to be with him. What if I move on with Mike or Sam then I get my memories back like years later and I remember how much I loved Emmett? Or what if I go back home with Emmett, I get my memories back and I remember that we were fighting and about to break up and that's why my mom and I were in the car and he's just pretending that everything is fine?"

Aggh this is so hard.

I decide right in that moment, talking to Emma like a crazy person, that I am going to do exactly what Jake told me to do. Just life my life and see how it all plays out. Only maybe I'll try to get Mike to fall in love with me just a little bit.

After we sit there for a while longer I head back because as much as I don't want to I have to get ready for my lunch with Emmett's family.


	8. Chapter 8

Emmett picks me up and we head into the city, about an hour away from home. I tried to convince him to have this meeting at my house but he said that his sister can be a bit snobby so he thought it would just be better to meet in a nice, fancy and public place.

We get there and I'm glad I'm wearing the dress that I am. It's the nicest thing I own, or at least that I'm aware of, but I still feel way underdressed.

I feel so out of place but Emmett just chuckles assuring me that we go to places like this all the time. Not helpful I think as I scowl at him making him laugh and kiss my forehead.

Awkward.

Once we get there we are led to our table where his family is already waiting. The girl that looks to be about my age jumps up squealing my name causing me to grab on to Emmett without thinking.

"I assume you're Alice?" I ask her somewhat rudely. It's like she doesn't even care that I don't know who she is.

"Of course! Oh I'm so happy to see you! You have to come home Bella. I mean of course after the funeral but you can't stay here for too long. I mean look at what you're wearing, that tiny town full of poor people is undoing all of the hard work I put into you." Um what a bitch.

"I like her?" I ask Emmett completely seriously.

"I told you that you're different here than you are at home. I would have warned you but I thought she would control herself." He tells me glaring at her.

"That is so rude Emmett." She whines.

Then his mom gets up telling her to sit down.

"I am so sorry about her Bella. She just gets a little excited sometimes but we do miss you and we do want you to come home. I mean we do have a wedding to finish planning and everything."

"Did you not tell them anything?" I ask Emmett. Now he's glaring at his mom.

"I told them everything. They just like to pretend that in the world of money they always get their way. Dad?" Emmett explains.

His dad, Carlisle, stands up to introduce himself.

"I am sorry for my wife and daughter's behavior Bella. As you can imagine we do miss you but we understand your reasoning for staying here. We just wanted to see you and tell you how sorry we are over the loss of Renee. And Emmett, I want you to know that you can stay here as long as you want I will make sure your house is taken care of. If either of you need anything you let me know. I know we got off to a bad start here but please don't run off like I can see you want to." Carlisle asks and Emmett looks at me. I just shrug my shoulders so he pulls my chair out for me to sit. He orders some dish for me I can't pronounce promising me I love it.

"So the wedding…" Esme starts but both Emmett and Carlisle tell her to stop.

"The wedding is off. I'm sorry but I barely even know Emmett so I'm obviously not going to marry him. I'm so sorry for all the work I assume has gone into the wedding as well as the money." I tell them.

"Don't worry about the money Bella, I paid for it all myself as that was the only way you had total rule over it." He tells me still glaring at him mom.

"Fine then what about her car?" Alice asks with a sparkle in her eye. What is it about that car I wonder?

"Alice!" Carlisle yells at her. "The car is hers. It's in her name, Emmett bought it for her, and I'm sure he has no plans to take it away from her."

Emmett agrees with him then threatens to leave if they don't cut it out.

The rest of lunch goes by awkwardly with a lot of fakeness mixed in. Once we get back into the car I burst into tears.

"Bella I am so sorry. I didn't think they would be like that. I promise you that you love them and they love you. It took you a while to adjust to us. I should have known this was a bad idea." Emmett apologizes.

"Are you like that?" I question, he frowns and says no.

"Esme is my stepmom and Alice is her daughter. She got out of an abusive relationship when Alice was an infant then she lived the poor single mom life until she met my dad. So she has this fear of losing all her money and I guess she kind of pushed that onto Alice. I mean my dad would never let anything bad happen to either of them and I love them both but they act like stuck bitches sometimes. My dad is nothing like that, he grew up poor too. He worked hard for his money so he knows what it's like to be poor. I don't know what it's like to be poor but my dad has always told me and Alice that money doesn't make you a better person. Just didn't seem to click with her."

"So you're not a spoiled rich kid?" I ask causing him to laugh.

"I am spoiled and I like it honestly. You're spoiled Bella and you like it too though you are still nothing like Esme or Alice. You still fight with me anytime I want to buy you something big but in the end you take it and you like it. We have a 5 bedroom house, 4 cars and a garden that you adore. You could spend your days lying by the pool doing nothing but you insist on going to school. To be a teacher… you really like kids because I promise you it is not for the money. I love you Bella and I want you back but I want you to be happy. Like you are here with Jake. So… if you give me the chance and let me prove to you how much I love you and that we belong together… I will move here. I'll sell the house, set up an office here, and buy you any house you want. I'm not trying to push, just letting you know that I will do anything for you."

"I like you. I really do Emmett but I don't love you. I don't think I am the same girl that you loved. I just don't want you to waste your life waiting for me."

"Then just… date me. Give me a chance. You fell in love with me once." He pleads and I think about it.

"OK, I'll date you. But the wedding is still off." I demand. He laughs and says he figured as much.

"You barely ate. Do you want to stop and get something before I take you home?"

"Oh yes please. Something good like…"

"French fries and milkshakes?" He suggests.

"I always eat that when I'm stressed." I have since I was little. When I would have a bad day at school or something my mom would always take me to the diner to get it. It's actually the only thing I ever went to the diner for.

He tells me he knows, it's still what I like to eat when I'm stressed. Good to know I'm not a completely different person I guess.

We stop at the diner where he tells me about himself since he knows everything about me and I know pretty much nothing about him.

He tells me about the family business and about how we met. He tells me how I was so broken over my dad dying and making the decision to leave Sam and Forks behind. He tells me how I talked about Jake and Emily all the time, how badly I missed them, but I couldn't stand the thought of coming back. I figured it was easier to just leave them all behind. It seems like bad logic to me.

"Being held at gunpoint and watching your dad get shot messed you up. You were broken and standoffish. You were only nice to me at first because we met at the coffee shop so I was a customer. Our first date you were just flat out mean but I knew it was an act, a way to keep yourself from caring about anyone new. It was like the old you died but you haven't found the new you yet if that makes sense."

Nothing in my life makes sense anymore.


End file.
